Ordinarily I search out books I wouldn't usually consider buying. Non-fiction books for research, books which are beyond my go-to genres and that I am unlikely to read over and over again. Last weekend I stumbled upon such a beauty, however it is destined to go back to the shelf unread.
To cut a long story short I have had a horrid summer. It should have been the summer my dreams came true but for reasons I'm not going to explain, it has been far from happy and at times I haven't even been able to write a single word let alone immerse myself in the pages of a book. However, this book, this little gem was, I thought, going to be the read that set me back on the path. It was not.
Don't get me wrong, it's a great book. I know it is. Everyone has told me how fabulous it is. Everyone has been literally raving about it, but the subject matter is tricky, the main character is certainly in for a rough ride and most likely not a happy ending and because of this my mind recoiled. After the first few beautifully written pages my brain screamed out 'you can't handle this right now', and I couldn't. I put the book to one side and ran back to my Kindle for an altogether 'easier' read.
Of course I was disappointed not to keep reading this much and highly praised work of fiction but above and beyond the disappointment I was surprised. I had never realised my emotional state was so intrinsically connected to my reading choice, but clearly it is. I have no doubt that I will return to this particular gem, but until the crisis has passed, until I'm really ready to face the world, just keep the funny stuff coming.
Wishing you all a wonderful week.
H x
Mood plays a big part in what one reads and how one responds to it. I'm so sorry you've had a rough few months. It's during those rough times that it's most important to read what is right for you at the time - for some people it is "self-help" books, other people seem to actually want books that make them more miserable, and others just want to escape. I'm a pure escapist - for six months I read either absolute rubbish or, if not rubbish, nothing that was in the least edifying. When I came out of that period - as you will - I looked at my Kindle and saw there had been nearly 200 of those stories. It doesn't matter. It got me through my hard six months. There is one book I was looking forward to but I still can't read it, and never will. If the time is right you will go back to the book you returned to the shelves - if the time is never right, it hardly matters as there are a zillion others for you to read. For now, let your mood dictate. And good luck.
ReplyDeleteThank you for such an insightful and affirming comment. I didn't think it was just me! H x
DeleteOne of the wonderful things about reading is that it can provide you with solace and escape in troubled times; but the other side of this, as you have discovered, is that it has to be the right book at the right time. I am so sorry that you have had a difficult time this summer, especially when this should have been the best summer ever. You are absolutely right not to try to read the book you mentioned - it clearly wasn't the right book at the right time. Maybe it never will be the right time for this book - maybe it will forever be associated with your summer of troubles; or maybe one day, you will know it is now the right time and you will plunge into the book with delight. Be kind to yourself - read what feels right and what is going to help you now. Sending love xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you Susanna. I had thought, naively I guess, that there was no nothing that could touch either my reading or my writing. Clearly I was wrong but I'm learning from the experience... Unfortunately. Thank you for the love. Your friendship is very much appreciated xxx
DeleteThis last year has been pretty awful for us too. Bullies, discrimination, illness, solicitors, courts and an upcoming house move.
ReplyDeleteWith all that going on in normal life, you bet your last 5p (in case you don't remember shillings) that I'm not reading any novel that has a downward cast to it. Nope. Make me laugh at the moment, or you're not getting read.
I really hope life is kinder to you soon Pat. Thank you for commenting. H x
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